


A Different Path

by MissCellophane



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Spoilers for: S3 Ep1-2 Slippery Slope, Tell me if I need to add any tags, episode rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21623245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCellophane/pseuds/MissCellophane
Summary: Quigley hurts his ankle and so stays down in the headquarters with Klaus instead of climbing up with Violet.
Relationships: Klaus Baudelaire/Quigley Quagmire, Quigley Quagmire/Klaus Baudelaire
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	A Different Path

**Author's Note:**

> This is the result of me realizing Violet was shipped with all three Quagmire's yet Klaus was only shipped with two. 
> 
> Note - I am not Lemony Snicket nor Daniel Handler. I'm not even going to try to attempt his style of writing. It would just come out weird if I did. But I hope you (whoever actually reads this) enjoy the story regardless.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything from this series

We begin our story not at the beginning nor the end but somewhere inbetween. The two Baudelaires and the masked stranger have made their way through the Vernacularly Fastened Door only to find the burned remains of the V.F.D headquarters.

“Now we will never find out who the survivor of the fire was.” Klaus said sadly as they looked over the burned remains of the V.F.D headquarters.

“Survivor?” The stranger in the mask repeated. 

Violet nodded “Yes, we learned there was a survivor of the fire. We had hoped it was one of our parents. But I suppose we’ll never know now.”

“There was a survivor.” The stranger confirmed.

Klaus turned to look at them, “How do you know?” He asked suspiciously.

The stranger brought their hands up to their mask “Because I’m the survivor. I survived the fire of my home.” They said as they lifted the mask up, revealing their face.

“Duncan?” Violet asked in surprise.

The Duncan lookalike shook his head “No, Quigley. Quigley Quagmire.”

Klaus’s eyes widened “Duncan and Isadora’s brother?” He asked in disbelief.

“Yes. You know them? Do you know where they are?” Quigley questioned, sounding just a hint desperate.

Klaus quirked his lips into a half-smile “They’re fine. They escaped Count Olaf on a self-sustaining hot air mobile home.”

"How do you know that?" Quigley asked, expression hopeful.

"We helped them." Violet replied.

Quigley’s shoulders immediately slumped in relief “That-that’s wonderful.” 

Violet sighed, her expression saddened. 

Quigley glanced at her “I’m sorry-“

“You have nothing to apologize for.” She said stiffly yet gently.

Klaus nodded in agreement “While we would have been ecstatic at having one of our parents back, I am glad Isadora and Duncan will have their brother back. They have really missed you.”

Quigley smiled at him “And I them.” He replied.

Violet looked up and gasped “Green smoke!” She said pointing to the top of the mountain where green smoke could indeed be seen wafting into the air.

"It's a Verdant Flammable Device." Quigley told them.

"So there could be a V.F.D agent up there." Klaus said.

“Or it could be Sunny!” Violet pointed out, “We need to go get her!” 

“How?” Klaus asked glancing at his sister.

Violet looked around with a frown, her eyes landed on the frozen waterfall.

“It’ll be a long way to the top.” Quigley informed them, “We have to go back out the Vernacularly Fastened Door and through the Vertical Flame Diversion and hike-“

“No, we don’t. There’s a more direct route.” She cut in, still looking at the frozen waterfall.

Quigley frowned “No, there isn’t? Look-“ He held up his map.

Violet pointed upwards “Look at the waterfall.” She retorted, cutting him off.

Klaus looked at it doubtful “How are you going to get up there?” He asked.

“We’ll climb.” She replied, already moving back towards the rubble, “Help me look for things to use.” 

They looked around for a while before Violet let out a gleeful cheer. She walked back over to Klaus and Quigley, who had been standing near the only remaining table where they had set down everything they found in the rubble.

“Look what I found!” Violet said as she set a couple more things on the table in front of Klaus and Quigley.

“Dr.Toronado?” Klaus read as he lifted up a burned trophy.

“Dad took us to her engineering lectures, remember?” Violet reminded him.

Klaus nodded, he had a small recollection of it. Violet handed him another trophy with a different name on it.

“C.M Comstock? Mother gave me her book on female pirates.” He set both trophies back onto the table.

“Yes, that’s where I learned the Devil’s Tongue Knot.” She agreed then lifted up a banged-up typewriter case.

“Who is L.Snicket?” Klaus asked, looking over the engraving on the side of the typewriter case.

“I read his books on maps!” Quigley piped in, “And his tutorial on the accordion.” He added a moment later.

Klaus glanced at him “You play the accordion?”

Quigley shrugged sheepishly “Kind of? I was bored and it was there. I figured it wouldn't hurt to learn.“

“Ah, I understand.” Klaus smiled at him before frowning and looking back at the trophies, “It’s almost like our parents were training us for the V.F.D and we didn't even know about it.” He huffed.

“As if they knew one day they wouldn’t be here.” Quigley added with his own frown. 

They shared a moment of silence, both of them lost in thought about their parents. Violet cleared her throat, catching the boys' attention again. She gave them a weak smile.

“Well, let’s use what they gave us then.” She said as she pulled her hair up with her ribbon, “Right, Quigley, hand me the candelabra.”

She worked for a while, fixing, hammering and tying things together. 

“I’ll climb up with you.” Quigley said as Violet finished up her work and Klaus walked back over to the table, “You helped save my siblings Baudelaire’s, let me help you save yours.”

Klaus and Violet shared a look before Violet nodded, “Okay.” She replied, she held out her hand for his shoe.

“Oh right, I found this codebook,” Klaus said, setting it on the table. 

“Do you think it’ll help us?” Violet asked as she started to work on Quigley's shoes.

“I don’t know but I can look around and see. V.F.D uses codes all the time, there must be one for when there’s a fire.” Klaus noted.

Violet hummed “How are you at cracking codes, Quigley?” She asked, glancing over to him.

“I can try but I am much better at reading maps.” He replied.

“That’s okay. You two go save Sunny. I'll work on finding the code." Klaus said.

“You're staying?” Violet repeated as she handed Quigley his shoes back.

Klaus nodded “I want to look this place over and we both know I could not climb for my life.” 

Violet smiled at the true statement.

“If Sunny’s up there, we will bring her back.” Quigley promised as he tied up his shoes.

“I know you will.” Klaus replied with a smile that Quigley returned.

“Alright. Let’s go, Quigley.” Violet said and headed for the frozen waterfall.

Quigley went to follow her, he managed a few steps before he yelped out in shock as he stumbled over some debris, landing on the ground roughly. He groaned and turned onto his back. That was not pleasant at all, He thought to himself.

“Are you okay!?” Klaus asked as he and Violet ran over to him.

“I’m fine.” Quigley said as he sat up, trying to ignore the pain in his ankle. He must have hit his foot on something in the fall.

Violet held her hand out to him “Here.” She said clasping his hand and pulling him up.

Quigley smiled at her before he stumbled and gasped.

“Are you hurt?” She asked worriedly.

Klaus frowned “If you are, you shouldn’t climb up the mountain.”

“I’m fine!” Quigley repeated, waving them off.

Klaus gave him a deadpan look “Can you walk?” He asked.

Quigley nodded “Of course!” He let go of Violet and tried to walk again only to stumble right into Klaus who grabbed his arms firmly.

“You obviously can’t. It would be best for you to stay here with me.”

Violet nodded “I’ll go alone then.”

Quigley shook his head “You shouldn’t go alone!” Quigley exclaimed with worry, “If you get hurt-“

Violet looked at the frozen waterfall “I can do it.” She turned back to Quigley and Klaus, “Stay here. I will be back with Sunny.”

Quigley opened his mouth to probably deny being hurt again when Klaus cut him off.

“We’ll be here then. Come on Quigley, you can help me look for clues.”

Quigley looked up at him with a frown, Klaus returned his stare and Quigley sighed “Fine.” He agreed reluctantly.

“I will be right back then.” Violet said as she headed for the frozen falls.

The two boys watched her go for a moment before turning back to each other.

“You can let me go now.” Quigley stated quietly, glancing away. He blamed the cold for the red he just knew was on his face.

Klaus flushed as he realized he _was_ still holding onto him “Oh uh um, are-are you sure? You can’t really walk.”

“I’m fine!” Quigley huffed, pulling away only to stumble once more. Klaus quickly grabbed his arms again, keeping him from falling over.

Klaus pressed his lips together, trying to hide his grin “Right. _Fine_.” He repeated amused.

Quigley’s cheeks darkened and he huffed “Alright, fine. I-“ He took a small breath, “I may need a little help.” He admitted.

Klaus politely kept his laughter to himself, but a small grin may have escaped him. He looked around for a place where Quigley could sit and look his ankle over and found a spot near the fridge. They headed over there, Quigley wincing slightly on the first step. When they got there Klaus kicked a couple of rocks off to the side to clear up space. Quigley sat down and untied his shoe, pulling it off to look his foot and ankle over.

“How is it?” Klaus asked as he watched Quigley.

"I don't know. I'm not a medical expert." Quigley sighed.

"Let me see." Klaus knelt down in front of him, "I have read a few medical books, I may be able to tell what's wrong."

Quigley shrugged "Okay." He held his foot out for Klaus.

"Does it still hurt?" Klaus asked as he gently held Quigley's ankle.

“Not too bad. It's already starting to feel better.” Quigley informed him after a moment's pause.

Klaus nodded, It didn't look bruised or anything but Quigley did wince when Klaus turned it slightly, an apology slipped off Klaus' tongue "Sorry. I don't think it's broken or sprained." He said letting Quigley take his foot back.

“I think you just twisted it when you fell. It’s probably gonna hurt for a bit but you should be able to still walk if you let it rest for a moment."

Klaus looked around and lit up when he found a singed cloth that may have been a table cloth or part of a curtain at some point. He quickly grabbed it before heading out to the snow, he scooped some into the cloth before tying it up and walking back over to Quigley, handing it to him.

"Just in case."

Quigley smiled as he took it, “To keep the bruising down. Good thinking.” 

Klaus returned the smile “I read it in a medical journal.”

Quigley set the makeshift ice pack onto his ankle “Thank you.” He quietly said, staring down at it.

Klaus shrugged “It’s what-“

“-friends are for.” Quigley finished fondly, “My siblings love that saying.”

Klaus nodded as he headed over to the fridge “Yes, they had used it a lot while we were at the academy.” He told him.

“How-how are they?” Quigley asked, glancing up at him.

Klaus hummed “Well, physically they are fine. Mentally and emotionally? That is a whole other matter that I can not speak on. But I suppose they will be much better when they see you again.” Klaus replied as he stared at the contents of the fridge. Why did something seem off with it? Maybe he could find the answer in that codebook he found earlier while his sister and Quigley were working. 

“I’m just relieved they are alive.” Quigley admitted softly, “I had...worried that I would return and they would not be there. _Here_. And I would find myself alone."

Klaus paused in his perusal of the codebook he grabbed from where he had left it on the table and turned to Quigley “That is a rational worry.” He replied gently, “I do not know what I would have done in your situation. I probably would not have made it as far as you. You truly are strong Quigley.” 

Quigley’s lips twitched upwards briefly before he sighed “Sometimes I wonder about that.” He confessed, looking away, He stared at the burned remains of the building they were in and frowned.

Klaus walked over and sat down in front of him again “Quigley. You _are_ brave. It must have been scary. Being by yourself." Klaus looked down at the codebook in his lap, "Yet you continued onward even without knowing where you were going. Or how to get there."

“I found a book.” Quigley suddenly said, his eyes still on the room and not Klaus as he spoke, “I was wondering in this empty house full of empty cages and I thought I heard something so I hid under the table. That’s where I found the book.”

“Uncle Monty.” Klaus replied, “You must have been in Uncle Monty’s house. What was in the book?”

Quigley nodded and continued on “The book was titled ‘The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations’. I read the whole thing twice. I learned so much from it! About V.F.D, the spyglass I found, the schism that tore the organization apart.”

Klaus stared at him with wide-eyes “You read the whole book? Did you take notes?” He asked.

Quigley pulled a small commonplace notebook from his jacket “Of course! That’s how I found out about this particular V.F.D headquarters! I had hoped they could help me find Isadora and Duncan.” Quigley glanced around sadly, “I suppose that plan is scrapped now.”

Klaus looked at him apologetic "I'm sorry, I don't know where they went. I wished I could track them for you."

Quigley smiled at him "It's not your fault Klaus, I-" He paused then brightened, “Wait, I can find them! If I have a map and general size of the hot air balloon I can try to track them!”

Klaus stood up “Well, I can probably help with that!” He walked back over to the fridge, “They left from the Village of the Fowl Devotee-“ He looked back into the fridge and paused as a thought hit him.

Quigley tilted his head at him “What is it?” He asked, watching Klaus stare into the fridge.

Klaus turned to him with a grin “It’s a code! That’s why it seems so odd!”

Quigley leaned forward to look into the fridge too “A code? What kind?” 

Quigley wasn't very good with codes but Klaus obviously was and it was fascinating for Quigley to watch the younger teen figure it out. He would have Quigley read the sentence over, then he would mouth it to himself a couple times, maybe ask Quigley a question and then grin as he came to the answer. By the time Violet came back down, they had cracked the code together.

“Violet look it’s Verbal- Where’s Sunny?” Klaus asked immediately after noticing the distinct lack of his baby sister.

Quigley looked up from his notebook (where he had been writing down Klaus' deductions) with furrowed brows “Did something happen?” He asked worriedly.

Violet pressed her lips together, eyes shiny as she stared at Klaus “Klaus-“

“Where’s Sunny?” Klaus repeated firmly, glancing around as if she would magically appear.

Violet shook her head “I’m sorry. She-she wanted to stay. To spy.” 

Klaus looked at her in disbelief “And you let her!?” Klaus exclaimed.

“It’s what she wanted!” Violet shot back.

“Sunny is a baby! She can’t be a spy!”

“She’s not a baby anymore!” Violet shouted back, “She found out they were planning something bad! They were talking about making orphans! She said she’d meet us down here later. She insisted!”

Quigley stood up carefully “Guys,” He tried to cut in, they ignored him.

“She _insisted_.” Klaus repeated, eyes wide in disbelief.

“She _volunteered_.” Violet added.

Klaus narrowed his eyes “So? You let her stay with _Count Olaf_!”

“I didn’t want to!” Violet yelled back.

“But you did! What will happen to Sunny? You know how cruel that man is!”

Quigley looked between the two siblings with concern. Violet was near tears and Klaus was almost vibrating with anger. 

“Klaus-“

“How could you!?” 

Quigley slowly walked over to Klaus, setting a hand on his arm “Klaus, calm down.”

“Calm down? She put our sister in danger!" Klaus barely glanced at him before turning back to Violet, "You said you would bring her back!” 

Quigley watched as Violet cried and gasped out apologies one after another but Klaus was far too angry to listen and if Quigley didn’t calm him down, he would probably end up saying something he regretted.

“How could you-“

“Klaus!” Quigley shifted so he was in front of him, mentally cursing his height as his forehead just barely crossed over Klaus’s nose, “Look at me.” He said firmly.

“ _Look_ at me.” He repeated when the other teen didn’t instantly turn his head.

Klaus finally looked down at him, pain and hurt obvious in his expression.

Quigley squeezed his arm gently “Hey,” He started softly, “I know you’re upset but you shouldn’t take it out on your sister.” 

Klaus opened his mouth but Quigley quickly continued “Do you trust Sunny?” He asked.

Klaus glanced at Violet “I-“

“Do you trust Sunny?” He repeated.

Klaus hesitated before he sighed loudly “Yes. Yes, I do.” He answered.

“Then trust her now.” Quigley said, “I know it’s hard to leave your sister in such obvious danger but if Violet let her stay then Sunny must have a plan. You know Violet would never willingly leave Sunny without a good reason.”

Klaus glanced over again to his sniffling sister, starting to feel guilty about making her cry “I just don’t want Sunny to get hurt.” He replied quietly, turning back to Quigley.

“Neither does Violet and neither do I. But we have to trust her on this okay?”

Klaus stared at him for a long moment “You never met Sunny, how do you know she’ll be okay?”

“I don’t.” Quigley answered, “But I know you and Violet and I know you both are brilliant and resourceful. Even if her plan fails, you won’t let anything happen to her. _We_ won’t let anything happen to her.” Quigley added firmly. 

Klaus swallowed “I...“ He trailed off.

“Klaus.” Violet breathed out and he looked over to her, “He’s right. Sunny will be fine. We’ll make sure of it.”

Klaus glanced between the two before slumping “Alright, fine. I guess we just have to trust her on this one.”

Quigley squeezed his arm again.

Klaus felt his face heat up a bit in embarrassment and he quickly turned back to Violet “I’m sorry for getting so angry.”

Violet gave him a weak smile, wiping at her eyes “It's okay. I would be just as furious in your position.”

“Would you like to see what we found?” Quigley asked suddenly.

“Oh yes, please tell me.” Violet agreed.

“Head over to the fridge then. We'll be over in a second.” Quigley told her, nodding in the fridge's direction.

Violet looked between the two before nodding herself and silently leaving them be.

Klaus took a deep breath, shutting his eyes. He felt a thumb swipe just under his glasses and blinked his eyes open to see Quigley frowning at him.

“You were crying.” He informed Klaus.

Klaus sniffed “I’m worried about Sunny.” He replied thickly.

Quigley hummed “We’ll get her back. I know we will.” 

Klaus smiled weakly at him “I wish I had your confidence.”

“That’s alright. I’ll have enough confidence for the both of us.” Quigley replied with a grin.

Klaus huffed a laugh “I do not think that is how it works.” He stated.

Quigley shrugged “Why not? Nobody knows _everything_."

Klaus swallowed “Yeah, I suppose they don’t.” He agreed.

“We should go find Violet.” Quigley reminded him after a moments' pause.

Klaus cleared his throat, cheeks red as he pulled back with a nod “Uh, yeah. Right.” He headed for the fridge, his steps a little quick.

Quigley watched him go with soft amusement before he followed after. They found Violet standing near the fridge, keeping her gaze politely off of them until Klaus spoke.

“Violet?”

She met her brother’s gaze instantly.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated honestly.

Violet shook her head, a fond smile on her face “I should be the one apologizing.”

“Agree to disagree.” Klaus replied lightly.

Violet nodded and turned to Quigley “What did you find?”

“Ah right, it’s Verbal Fridge Dialogue.” Klaus stated.

“Verbal Fridge Dialogue?” Violet repeated confused.

“Yeah, it’s a code that is used in emergency situations.” Klaus opened the fridge as Quigley leaned onto the table near Violet.

“It’s quite interesting. You leave messages by using the items you find in the fridge.” Quigley explained.

Klaus nodded “Exactly.”

“And what does this message say?” Violet asked curiously.

“Quigley?” Klaus prompted.

Quigley grabbed the book near his hip and started “The darkest of the jams of three contains the sender, look and see.” He read aloud.

“That sounds like one of Isadora’s poems.” Violet mentioned absently.

Quigley smiled at her “She learned to write couplets from our parents.” He informed her.

Klaus continued “The poem means that the name of the person sending the message is in the darkest jam. And look,” he lifted the lid to the jar of boysenberry, “J.S.”

“J.S.? Jacques Snicket?” Violet wondered with obvious surprise.

“But Jacques Snicket's dead.” Quigley added with a sigh.

“And that’s not the only thing strange about this message.” Klaus glanced at Quigley again and the other teen read aloud once more.

“Gatherings use a cured fruit-based calendar, and location can be divined via any spice-based condiment.”

Klaus lifted another jar “J.S is calling a meeting for the whole of V.F.D. The number of olives is the day of the week it is. One for Sunday, two for Monday and so on.”

“What day is that?” Violet questioned, looking at the jar.

“There are five olives.” Quigley told her.

“Thursday then.” She frowned.

“If this message was left during the fire then the meeting is only a few days from now.” Klaus stated.

“But where is it?” Violet asked.

“The only spice-based condiment is the jar of mustard.” He handed it to her, “Read the ingredients.”

Violet took the jar and glanced over the cursive adorning the label “Vinegar, mustard seed, salt, turmeric, the Last Safe Place.” She paused, “The Last Safe Place? Where is the Last Safe Place?”

Quigley shrugged “I don’t know but if we can find the Last Safe Place we can find V.F.D.” 

“I don’t know where it is either.” Klaus groaned, “And if the answer was in this building then it’s gone up in smoke.”

“Maybe Sunny can learn something?” Violet said.

Klaus pulled the spyglass out of his pocket “We’ll keep an eye out for her then.” He turned it in his hands, the sun glinted off it briefly.

"That's the only thing we can do right now." Violet agreed.

They had been silent for a few moments, thinking, when Quigley caught sight of something moving out of the corner of his eye, he turned to it and his eyes widened.

“There’s someone coming down the slope!” Quigley exclaimed, running over to the burnt up entryway.

“Quigley, be careful! You’ll hurt yourself even more.” Klaus called out as he and Violet followed after him.

“There’s someone coming down the slope!” Quigley repeated, pointing up.

“It must be Sunny!” Violet said.

Klaus opened and lifted the spyglass, looking through it “I don’t think it is. Whoever it is, they’re too tall to be Sunny.”

After a moment's pause, he added, “That’s strange, they look like they’re on fire.”

Violet took the spyglass from him, peering through it herself “That’s not fire! It’s _fashion._ ”

“Esmé!” Klaus shared a worried look with Violet.

The three dodged out of the way as Esmé slid into the remains of the building and as she was getting her bearings back they all hid.

“I thought you volunteers were supposed to be smart, but someone is still lurking around! That’s very stupid.” She laughed, “Your headquarters are destroyed, your _worst_ _enemies_ are on top of that mountain, and I’m right here-“ She grinned, walking around the room, “-and dressed to kill.” 

Quigley quickly pulled his mask back on, hoping Klaus and Violet will be safe.

He snapped his head to the side when he heard a voice whisper “Boo!”

Esmé was smirking at him “You are a little short to be a volunteer,” She started, “But I always did say reading stunted your growth.” 

Quigley bit back the confused comment about how that was _not_ how human growth worked and instead ran off.

He noticed Klaus and Violet run off after him as Esmé continued talking and looking around.

He ignored her and quickly hid across from the Baudelaires in one of the rooms.

Esmé appeared a moment later and slowly walked forward.

“Are you hiding in the... whatever room this is?” She paused at the foot of a large hole, “Ah, the hot tub room.” She threatened them again as she continued forward over the hot tub only for the wood covering it to break and for her to fall in, “Ah!” She screamed in surprise.

Quigley and the Baudelaires walked out of their hiding spots to peer in.

“I think we just caught Esmé Squalor at the bottom of a surprisingly deep hot tub.” Violet stated.

“Is she alive?” Klaus asked hesitantly.

There was a pause and then Esmé shouted up to them, “Get me out of here at once! Being trapped in a hot tub is even less ‘in’ then getting in a hot tub on purpose!”

They flinched back in surprise.

“She’s alive.” Quigley sighed with obvious disappointment.

“I can make a pulley to get her out?” Violet suggested.

“Or...” Quigley trailed off pointedly.

“Or?” Klaus repeated, cautiously.

Esmé continued her shouting from the bottom of the hot tub as Quigley explained “Count Olaf has someone you love. And now we have someone he loves. We can arrange a trade.” He explained.

“An exchange of hostages?” Klaus shook his head, “That’s really dangerous.” 

“Do we have any other choice?” Quigley locked eyes with Klaus, “I hate this as much as you do but we can get Sunny back.” 

Klaus hesitated.

“When my boyfriend finds out you trapped me down here, he is going to be _so_ angry with you!” Esmé exclaimed.

“Klaus. Count Olaf captures people to get what he wants.” Quigley pushed.

“And you really want to do the same as him, Quigley?” Klaus asked.

“You know the saying, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire!” Quigley retorted.

“If everyone did that, the world would go up in smoke! Klaus is right, there has to be another way.” Violet shook her head.

“Klaus?” Esmé called up, they leaned over the edge to see her, “Oh, this is rich! You’re not volunteers! You're the Baudelaires! Olaf will be so disappointed you didn’t die.” She sighed before grinning, “Of course, he will be so thrilled he’ll get to kill you all over again!”

She laughed before pausing and looking at Quigley “You...Didn’t you float off in a bunch of balloons?” She asked with a hint of confusion.

Quigley clenched his jaw “I’m Quigley Quagmire! I survived the fire.”

Esmé groaned “Sheesh, some days you can’t catch a break, why can’t people just die the first time!”

Quigley clenched his fists in anger. 

Klaus glanced at him with concern “Alright. Fine.” He reluctantly agreed, “We’ll get you out Esmé but only if you help us get our sister back!” 

“What if I refuse?” Esmé questioned.

They were silent.

“And that’s the problem with your side of the schism! Being righteous and well-read never gets you anywhere!” She leaned back against the wall, “You know, when I was your age, I was supposed to waste my entire summer reading Anna Karenina. But I knew the dumb book would never get me anywhere, so I threw it into the fireplace! And look at me now?” She raised her arms outward and grinned, “I’m beautiful and fashionable!”

“You are trapped at the bottom of a hot tub.” Violet pointed out.

“And I'm still better off than you! You’ll never save your sister, just like you’ll never save those rich kids hiking up the mountain to celebrate False Spring.”

“Countless orphans.”

“Countless fortunes.”

Quigley tugged them both back from the hot tub “Guys, we need to help them!”

“But how?” Klaus asked desperately. 

“I don’t know but if we don’t-“ Quigley trailed off.

“They’re going to kidnap the snow scouts and murder their parents.” Violet looked between them, “Count Olaf will take all of their money!”

Klaus shook his head “Can’t he just move to a far far away island and leave us alone?”

Quigley patted his arm “That’s far too much to hope for.” He said.

Klaus snorted, sharing an amused look with Quigley.

“Guys.” Violet pressed her lips together, “What are we gonna do?”

“We need to find the snow scouts and tell them.” Klaus suggested.

“You really think Carmelita will listen to us?” Quigley rolled his eyes.

“We don’t need her too, just the others.” Violet replied, “Come on.” They started for the doorway.

“Oh, kids!” Esmé sang up to them, “Do you really think you could get up there without me?” 

The three orphans froze.

“What do you mean?” Violet asked warily.

“I mean, as soon as you appear on the mountain my boyfriend and his companions will push you right back off! Or your dear little sister!"

Klaus pressed his lips together “She’s right. We won’t be able to keep a foot on the ground without some kind of leverage.” 

Quigley gave them both a pointed look and Violet sighed, already putting her hair up in a ribbon “I’ll make something to carry her.”

After she left Klaus turned to Quigley.

“Is this really a good idea?” He asked, making sure to keep his voice down so Esmé couldn’t hear.

“Honestly?” Quigley shook his head, “No. But we don’t really have a choice right now, do we?” 

Klaus took his glasses off, rubbing the lenses on his shirt anxiously “I feared you would say that.” He scrubbed and scrubbed even after they were clean.

Quigley gently took his glasses from him and set them back onto Klaus’s face, his hands lingering as he spoke, “We’ll figure it out.”

Klaus swallowed “Yeah? Cause it feels kind of hopeless right now.” He replied.

Quigley quirked a smile at him and quoted “It is during our darkest moments that-“

“-we must focus to see the light.” Klaus finished “Aristotle.”

Quigley smiled “Do not lose hope, Klaus.” He said softly, “We will save her.”

Klaus stared at Quigley for a long moment, taking in his friend and the determination and confidence glinting in his eyes.

"Yeah, we will." He agreed with a quirk to his lips.

...

“I hate this.” Klaus groaned out as they climbed up the waterfall, Esmé was casually sitting back on her sled and grinning at them.

“Mush! Mush! Mush!"

"I wish you would stop saying that! It is not helping." Violet said with a roll of her eyes, Quigley grimaced in agreement.

“Can we just drop her?” Quigley asked Klaus.

Klaus snorted “No, unfortunately. We need her to get Sunny.”

“Right.” Quigley sighed.

Klaus glanced at him “Are you okay?” He asked quietly.

Quigley nodded “Yeah, are you?” 

Klaus took his time to think about the question “I think...you should ask me that another time.” He finally replied.

Quigley was quiet for a long moment “ _Will_ you be okay?” Quigley asked.

Klaus shot him a weak smile “As soon as we get Sunny, I will be better than I am now.” He responded.

Quigley supposed that was as good an answer as Klaus was willing to give him right now.

“Hurry up! The cold is ruining my hair!” Esmé complained. 

Violet's eye twitched “We are going as fast as we can Esmé.” She bit out.

Esmé scoffed “Not fast enough! Mush!” 

Klaus and Quigley shared a look of annoyance.

“Maybe we _should_ just drop her.” Klaus said, glaring back at the blonde.

Quigley’s lip twitched upwards “If only we could.”

They finally made it up the mountain a few minutes later, faces flushed and breathes coming out in pants.

“I hate climbing.” Klaus groaned, slumping against the ground. 

“Finally, after all these years-“

“-We have eliminated the Baudelaires.” 

Klaus snapped his head up at the unknown voices. There standing with Count Olaf was a Man With A Beard But No Hair and a Woman With Hair But No Beard.

“Oh, darling!” Esmé sang happily, waving a cheery hand, “I have some bad news about that!” She said, getting their attention.

“My fortune!” Count Olaf exclaimed joyfully upon seeing the children.

“The Baudelaires.” The Women With Hair But No Beard bitterly added.

“And look who else I found!” She gestured to Quigley, “That there is Quigleforth Quagmire.”

“It’s _Quigley_.” He corrected as he tossed the rope they used to pull Esmé up onto the ground.

“I have never been so happy to see you brats alive!” Count Olaf stated, looking near tears, “How did you capture them, my pet?” He asked Esmé.

Esmé opened her mouth to respond but Klaus cut her off hurriedly “She didn’t capture us! We are here to trade her for Sunny!”

“Oh.” Count Olaf shrugged, “Well, you’re a little late for that.” He informed them with amusement.

Quigley frowned “What do you mean?”

“I mean, she’s dead. Thrown right off the mountain!” He laughed.

“No.” Violet breathed out in horror.

“You’re lying!” Klaus added angrily.

Count Olaf waved a hand “Believe me or not. I don’t care but just look over the edge and you’ll see the truth. My favorite henchperson threw her over the edge!”

“I’m your favorite?” The Hook-Handed Man asked with wide eyes.

Klaus ran over to the edge and peered over “No!” He exclaimed as soon as he saw the broken cage.

“Oh no. Sunny.” Violet whimpered.

“You monster!” Klaus shouted turning around, “She was a baby!”

“And a real pain in the ass. Never got my food right.” Count Olaf scoffed.

“Enough.” The Man With A Beard But No Hair said sternly.

“The snow scouts are nearly here. Forget about the Baudelaires.” The Women With Hair But No Beard agreed.

Esmé slipped her knife through the rope holding her and walked over to Count Olaf with a smirk “Even if she was alive, do you really think I would let myself be used as a hostage?” She laughed, “I was gonna use this big knife to force you to bring me up but,” She laughed again, “These idiots just volunteered!” She lowered her voice as she added, "They're so stupid."

“You are absolute monsters!” Klaus choked out.

Quigley glanced at him with worry then over to Violet who was sniffling. He wished he was more like Duncan and Isadora at the moment. His brother and sister were always better at making up plans. 

“Klaus stop!” Quigley shouted as he noticed Klaus running up to the Hook-Handed Man.

“How could you!” Klaus cried out, trying to punch the man but he kept batting Klaus’s hands away.

“Klaus!” Violet called. 

“Klaus!” Quigley added right after her.

Count Olaf started to chuckle “And it all worked out perfectly because now I have you!” He turned to the two strangers with a giddy grin, “You made me choose, and I _still_ got everything I wanted! Because I am amazing, brainy, courageous, dashing, enchanting, famished, gifted, hilarious, I-I-“

"Idiot." The Man With A Beard But No Hair rolled his eyes.

“The Baudelaire fortune is small potatoes.” The Women With Hair But No Beard stated dryly, cutting Count Olaf off.

“Uh, no. I’m pretty sure it’s money?” Count Olaf replied.

Quigley just barely resisted the urge to facepalm. How was this guy so terrifying and also such an idiot?

Violet nudged him and glanced over to the car. He followed her gaze to see Sunny standing there, she gave them a small grin and wave of her hand before slipping back behind the car.

Quigley felt instant relief at seeing the small child, she wasn’t dead. He glanced at Klaus who was still arguing with the Hook-Handed Man.

He needed to tell him. He glanced around before just mentally shrugging and grabbing Klaus by the back of his shirt, dragging him back toward himself.

“Hey!” Klaus yelped out.

The Hook-Handed Man rolled his eyes.

“Shhh.” Quigley hissed, “Just stop.” He gave Klaus a look and the younger teen froze then slumped.

“But Sunny-“

Quigley shook his head, pitching his voice lower as Count Olaf started arguing with the two strangers “She’s fine. Violet and I just saw her.”

Klaus looked at him desperately “She is?” Quigley nodded and Klaus breathed out in relief.

“Come over here.” Quigley said as he pulled Klaus back over to Violet. The three turned toward the adults.

“Here they come now!” The Man With A Beard But No Hair said, they all turned to see a group of kids closing in on the top of the mountain near where they stood.

“No.” Violet pressed her lips together.

“What do we do?” Klaus swallowed thickly.

“Look.” Quigley pointed to the eagles flying around the mountain top.

“Are those...eagles?” Klaus asked, “They aren’t even native to this mountain.” His brow furrowed with confusion.

“I think that’s the least of our problems right now Klaus.” Violet said.

“Why are all you cakesniffers up here!?” Carmelita exclaimed as she looked them over.

“Carmelita!” Violet started.

“Hello, little girl.” The Women With Hair But No Beard said, cutting off Violet, “We’re here to celebrate False Spring.”

“No, they aren’t! Carmelita don’t listen to them!” Violet shouted, “They’re here to kidnap you!”

Carmelita scoffed “I am too adorable to kidnap. Give me that Springpole!” One of the snow scouts stepped up to her, handing her the Springpole before stepping back into place.

“Please, Carmelita!” Klaus pleaded, “Just turn around and lead the snow scouts to somewhere safe!”

“Pay no attention to the cry-babies.” The Women With Hair But No Beard said, “Why don’t you step closer?” The Man With A Beard but no hair added.

“No! Carmelita don’t!” Violet warned her, “You’re putting yourself in danger!”

Carmelita ignored her and took a few steps forward “I crown myself False Spring Queen!” She joyfully slammed the Springpole into the ground, some ice cracked around it.

Quigley grimaced “This isn’t good.”

“Now, why don’t the rest of you children take a few steps closer and join us in a special celebration.” The Woman With Hair But No Beard said with a smile.

“No!” The two Baudelaires and Quigley shouted.

“It’s a trap!” Klaus yelled out.

The snow scouts ignored him and took hesitant steps forward onto the blanket on the ground.

Before anyone could react the Women With Hair But No Beard blew on a whistle and the eagles swooped down, they grabbed the strings hidden below the snow and took off. The snow scouts all screamed in surprise as they were lifted up and away.

“No!” 

They watched sadly as the snow scouts were flown off into the distance, screaming all the while.

“The noble side of the schism may have carrier crows and trained reptiles...“ The Women With Hair But No Beard said.

“But the eagles work for us, and so will those children.” The Man With A Beard But No Hair finished for her.

“No.” 

“We were going to take you back Olaf.” The Woman With Hair But No Beard informed him.

“But instead, we’re taking your car.” The Man With A Beard But No Hair stated.

“How did you steal my keys?” Count Olaf asked as the women dangled them from her hand.

“We’ll be in touch.” She said instead of replying.

“That would be the first.” Count Olaf stated dryly.

“I was talking to Ms.Squalor.” 

“We’re impressed with your work. We’ll contact you with your next assignment.” The Man With A Beard but no hair informed her.

The two walked off.

“Really? You two are so sweet!” Esmé waved them off, “Ta Ta! Safe travels!”

Quigley nudged Klaus “We need to get out of here.”

Count Olaf instantly turned to them “You three are not going anywhere! I only need one of you alive to get your fortune.” 

He stepped closer “Which one should it be?” He wondered.

“Oh! You should keep Klaus!” Carmelita piped in cheerfully, “Then you could break his glasses and watched him run into things!” 

Klaus looked at her offended as Esmé beamed “What an adorable little girl. Would you like to join us?”

Count Olaf looked horrified “Uh, we should discuss that first.” 

The two ignored him and Carmelita gave Esmé a hug before pulling back and smirking smugly at the Baudelaires and Quigley.

“Hey, cakesniffers! Now I have two sets of parents more than you!” She giggled.

Count Olaf decided to just ignore that for now and turned back to the orphans “Any last words?”

“Just one!” A child-like voice called from behind him, “Rosebud!” Sunny pushed a sled toward her siblings, catching sped as she ran.

“Wha-you are supposed to be dead!” Count Olaf exclaimed.

“Sunny!” Violet and Klaus exclaimed themselves in relief.

Sunny kept running and Count Olaf had to move or risk getting run over. He growled in anger as the orphans all jumped onto the sled and pushed off over the side of the mountain, screaming.

“Why can’t anyone stay dead!” They heard Count Olaf shout loudly, “After them!”

“Sunny, are you okay?” Violet asked as they picked up speed, shifting this way and that in order to miss the trees.

“Mmh!” She nodded, “I’m fine.”

“I’m glad you’re back Sunny.” Violet sighed in relief.

“Me too but we’re not safe yet!” Klaus called back.

“Quigley! Do you know where the stream is headed?” Klaus asked.

Quigley shook his head “One second!” He pulled his map out, “It looks like-“

“Tree!” Violet shouted. 

They all ducked except for Quigley who got caught on the branch.

“Quigley!” Violet and Klaus exclaimed, glancing back.

“I’ll be fine! I’ll find you at the Last Safe Place!” He called after them, “The Last Safe Place!”

Klaus gritted his teeth “You better!” He shouted in reply.

Quigley watched as the sled got smaller and smaller until he couldn't see them anymore.

He hoped the Baudelaires would be okay. He hoped Klaus would be okay.

...

Klaus stared out the window of the submarine they ended up in, watching the fish swim by.

Violet entered the room and paused, she softened and walked over to her brother, sitting down next to him.

“Klaus-“

“Do you think he’s okay?” Klaus asked.

Violet threw an arm around Klaus “It’s Quigley. I’m sure he’ll be fine.” 

Klaus bit his lip “I guess you’re right. I’m just-“

“Worried. I know.” She squeezed his shoulder, “I am too.” 

Klaus turned to her “You think we'll really see him again?”

Violet looked him over and smiled “I’m sure we will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: misscellophane-ao3


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